Them & Me

Updated: Mar 18

I went to my kids rugby game this morning. We left home at 7.30am. When I was there I couldn't help but notice there were quite a few groups of women there who looked, well, bloody amazing. Hair straightened or in a perfectly created messy top knot, puffer jacket, aviator glasses, nails done, make-up perfect. They weren't even necessarily overly pretty, but they just looked "groomed". And clean. And on-trend. They looked like they hadn't really made any effort at all, but had just woken up like that.

I felt jealous.

How did they do that? I got up at 6.30am, had a shower, got myself ready, slapped on some bb cream and mascara, and yet I didn't look anything like them. Where was I going wrong? They had kids. They had to have been out the door early. And yet they looked like THAT. Did they get up at 5am to start their beauty regime? Did they have a personal stylist on hand at home? Did they have a nanny? All assumptions seemed doubtful. They just looked like normal mum's, but they were rocking it. Humpf.

Maybe it came down to priorities. When I got up this morning (to avoid the "I'm hunnnnngrrryyy" song mid-game) I chose to cook the kids a big breaky of bacon and eggs and some veg and got a morning tea together so that they could avoid the junky stuff at the rugby grounds (morning tea wasn't made the night before because I drank two and a half glasses of red wine and fell asleep on the couch).

I suppose if I wanted to I could've spent that time straightening my hair and putting more effort into my appearance. But instead my priority was about what I was going to feed my kids and I chose that. No judgement on those who don't.

Now don't get me wrong - I'm not saying that these women feed their children unhealthy foods. And I'm not saying their priorities are wrong, or because they look good it means they are neglecting their kids in any way shape or form. Maybe they did do all I did and still managed to look fabulous. Maybe they spent 5 minutes getting ready and just happen to have that magical "thing" where they always look like that. (Annoying).

But, if I'm to be honest, I WAS judging them, and I DID think they were "doing it ALL" just because they looked good. I was imagining that they had the clean house, happy marriage, spotless car and fed their kids nutritious food, all because they looked a certain way.

So I really had to give myself a mental slap upside the head, let go of the jealous pang, and just decided to admire these women for owning it. For taking the time to look gorgeous in their own way, and choosing their own priorities. (Well, okay, whilst still feeling a teeny bit envious of their straightened, highlighted locks). I also decided to stand tall and feel proud of the priority I had chosen (to make my kids real food), even though my hair did look a bit kooky.

But it got me thinking about how so many of us put pressure on ourselves thinking we need to "do it all" - look fabulous, be on the fundraising committee, have a clean house, happy hubby, kids eating healthy food 24/7, do yoga with the sunrise every morning, and more, and then feel bad when we don't because we think that others do have it all together.

We as women need to let go of this idea of doing it all, but also perceiving that others are. Pick your priorities, own them, and if you want to change them, then do. But (talking to myself here) let's not feel like someone's got it all together because of what we see in a snap shot of time (or on facebook or instagram) when chances are, they most likely have not.

I'll probably go through this all again when I see them next weekend, but in the mean time, I'm good.

#selfcare #MElove #Mamaaintperfect #Kids

 Melissa Lowe | Nutrition & Health Coach |

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